Story of the day

Hello Assalamualaikum. 😊

Huhu after a few moments or i should say a few month. 😅 i write again...  Then this is me..  Very hard to stay istiqamah like to do the same thing at the same time every day..  Just like writing this blog that i need to sot still,  think n write. 😪😪 bit still the feeling and the urgeness to write n share sth is always there inside myself..  It just. 😒 hahaa. ... Dont know what the suitable word... 

Yesterday,  i went to UIA to attend a meeting of an organisation...  And im like very nervous from the start,  at the first step in UIA.  😥😥 .. Cause i know there will be a change for post n position from 2016 to 2017 .. And i'll be one of person that were selected to hold a post..  Wether it is mainboard or not...  That when the session or the program start,  i keep holding my hidayah's hand like to take some strengt from her...  At the same time,  i try to soothe myself by thinking that,  kq amni would not choose me.  😌😌 ... Eventhough the nervousnesa still here. ... And when the announcement made...  *they show the name on the slide..  And i saw my name..  And i'll be like  😐 that made me speechless..  And i look at ayong at the front,  when she nodded at me signing that it is me..  Then i knew that i had accepted one more responsible next sem..  One more post that the importantness is cant be denied  ...  I stand up hopelessly and went to in front to see kq amni waiting for me.  I shake hand with her n hug her.. At that time,  i try hardly to prevent from crying...  As that time,  i felt so hard,  like something so hard fell on ur head... And i started feeling to have fever like the headache can make me go faint 😲 ... When the session ended for a while to pray zohor...  I went to ayong n hug her , and ayong said sth that really soothing myself n i'll bear in mind always.  Ayong said,  that i am the strongest person she've ever meet because even i lost my biological mom but still i can get that value for GPA in the first sem while busying with mrc , usrah , programs .. And i'll be like clueless bcoz i'm never think that losing my mom since baby is a barrier for me to do sth as i know Allah is the best planner. ... That we must always grateful to Allah by looking what we have not what we dont..  Yes i sad,  i miss her,  but i know by doing best in deen wa dunya is what she seek from me...  And something that i hold,  that always in my mind and heart,  when i achieve sth,  that is the pay from Allah bcoz He took my mom..  Then i'll be very grateful to Him... Ayong said a lot but that is the highlight of that...  And in the last sujood to Allah in zuhur prayer, i cried,  sy mengadu kat Allah..  Its like Allah satusatunya tmpt bergantung dr dulu sampai skrg..  And i seek calmness from Allah and Allah is the most loving God to his hamba..  That i really reach calmness that i can smile again n bersemangat balik. ...  .. Tu jer kot stakat ni.  😉😉

Hope that whoever read this,  can take as much lesson from my storyb,  its not for riyak,  takabbur or ujub.  I just want to share and everyone is permitted to share sth...  And that remember to always seek forgiveness with Allah by istighfar especially forgiveness if there is a dot of riyak.  Ujub n takabbur in our heart...  Bcoz we humans that so fragile cant run from that negative n killing feeling..

MAMA

Mama ... The most important person in our live 💟 We can say she is VVIP then 😏 She gave birth to us with freaking pain 😣 and yet she love us more than herself 😌 She try to serve us like a king  👸 meanwhile she only a servant 💂.. And for what she had done for us , she never asked us to repay her and yet her sacrifices are priceless  can't be paid with money 🏧 and yet we aren't able 🙅 to serve her the same .. Ohh we 're so ignorant 🙍 didn't we ?  I lost my mom when I was 4 month year-old 😞 it was the most heart breaking thing 😣 in my life .. I didn't able to even see her in person 😔 whatsoever to embrace her .. I can't tell her if I am sad .. I can't tell her if someone mad at me .. I cant share with her if I am on  cloud nine ... I cant do something that other kids do with their mother ... And yet I am soo sad 😭 I miss her in every second 😔 yet I always ask to Allah in my prayer that I can meet my mother in Jannah 🙍 and I hope whoever read this can amin my du'a ... I never asked to Allah so that I can see her in my dream as yerlah ... Something like that it's like syaitonn 👿 ... Hehe and so I never see her .. But still I have my mother's picture with me which is I stole it from my late mother handbag that has been kept by my father a couple of years ago ... But now , as it's a long ago picture , so the quality is poor already .. It is also because I cried on the picture 😭 . Okey sampai sini dulu ... 😉

INTRODUCTION 👗👗

It's been two years already since my last time wrote at this blog 😌 and for the time being , im always looking for this as there's always time that i want to express my feeling , to share my problem .. Just something to soothe myself 😋 but the situation always not suitable .. Its like low connection .. But now , there's no more problem as I've got my new phone and I have this blogger app in my phone .. Wow it's like so exciting  💐💐.