Wednesday, 1 January 2020
Saturday, 20 July 2019
Gerhana Bulan

Tuesday, 19 March 2019
I need to go home as soon as possible to recharge the positivity in me 😭
And so I can prevent it from spreading to people surround me.
Tommorow is just too long
At this very moment, I will be very bold, to cover how fragile I am inside.
So bold so I will hurt my own friend.
Sorry.
Saturday, 2 February 2019
Pemergiannya bagaikan mimpi
Abah hantar whatsapp kat group family dengan gambar tok ayah.
[18:42]
Abah : Tok ayah kaha berat... Semua waris dah mari.. Takdah g singapura... Sekat KL... jah
[18:53]
Abg Jie : In Shaa Allah jie balik mlm nie lps kijo tgok tok ayah.
[18:58]
Me : Abg jie, nk ikut
[19:28]
Abg Jie : Ho buleh dlm pkul 1pgi jie sapa kat jah
Tanpa fikir panjang, aku decide untuk ikut abang Jie balik kampung untuk tgok Tok Ayah walaupun cadangnya nak balik weekend minggu depan lepas exam Fiqh Sirah.
Bila tengok gambar tok ayah yg abah hantar, terus datang rasa takut, berdebar dan sebak. Takut akan kenyataan yang pasti iaitu ajal. Air mata terus mengalir tanpa dapat ditahan sehinggalah dalam solat maghrib. Lepas solat maghrib, aku kebelakang untuk tunaikan solat hajat. Sekali lagi air mataku jatuh tak tertahan. Bayangan tok ayah yang melayan kerenahku dan menjagaku dari kecik terus menerpa di fikiran. Aku berhenti lama di sujud terakhir, memohon doa kepada Allah agar diberi kesempatan untuk bertemu Tok Ayah buat kali terakhir.
Farha yang solat disebelah nyata sedar akan tangisanku.
"Izzah kenapa?"
Air mata mengalir deras.
"Saya takut. Atuk saya sakit"
Datanglah beberapa muslimat lain kearahku, memberi kekuatan dengan doa dan kata semangat.
Selepas makan malam, aku call abah menanyakan tentang tok ayah.
"Tok ayah tak lama dah. Baguslah jah balik dgn abang jie mlm ni, suruh abang jie bawak kereta molep"
Aku gagahi untuk terus menyertai program liqa' wada itu sampai keakhirnya sebelum pulang ke bilik.
Sampai jer bilik, aku terus mula mengemas barang-barang untuk bawa balik ke rumah dan terus berjaga dan menanti abang jie yang akan sampai dalam pkol 1 nanti.
Tiba-tiba notification whatsapp masuk.
[00:39]
Abang Jie : Jah. Dop jadi balik malam nie. Sbb kereta Jie dop brapa ok tuk balik nie. Tgok esok or lusa. Sorry Jah
[00:44]
Me : ookey Jie
'Erm xperlah balik bila pun asal balik untuk jupo tok ayah'
"Ulfa, saya tak jadi balik malam nie! So, saya nak tido"
Tak sampai 5 minit, aku dah terlena.
.....
Tersedar jam 4 pagi. Tengok phone ada 8 misscall dari Abg Jie. Terus rasa tak sedap hati. Otak mula fikir macam-macam. Then masuk panggilan Abg Jie.
"Helo jah, tido ko?"
"Ho. bakpo Jie?"
"Jie jadi balik ni. 20 minit lagi nak sapa kat Jah"
"Ho okey Jie, nanti sapa Jie oyak lah"
Aku terus pergi toilet, basuh muka dan bersiap untuk balik.
4.40 pg abg Jie sampai dan kami terus bertolak balik ke Besut.
"Abg jie tanya Piye keadaan tok ayah. Piye oyak tak lama dah. Kena balik jugak malam ni"
"Pastu Piye hantar gambar abah tido atas sofa jer kat rumah tok ayah sebab jaga tok ayah"
"Kalau Jah tak bangun tadi, Jie balik sorang doh"
Dalam hati 'Ya Allah, terima kasih lah kejut aku bangun tepat pada masanya. Klu tak, lambat lagilah boleh balik'
Sepanjang perjalanan, aku tahan mata untuk tidak tido dan teman Abg Jie
Sebelum bertolak, aku mesej abah untuk memberitahu yang kami baru bertolak.
[04:59]
Me: Abah, ijah ngan Abg Jie baru bertolak balik ni
[05:11]
Abah : Maasha Allah lewatnya bertolak
[05:30]
Dapat call dari Abah
"Helo Jah. Tok Ayah takdop doh" "Baliklah Jah. Baliklah"
"Inna Lillahi wa Inna Ilaihi rajiun"
Kedengaran suara sebak tangisan Abah dihujung talian.
Air mata terus mengalir tanpa tertahan.
"Abg Jie, tok ayah xdop doh" "Tok dea nak jupo"
Masatu rasa macam mimpi. Kupanjatkan doa kepada arwah Tok Ayah.
"Abg Jie rasa doh. Sbb tu Abg Jie nak balik jugak malam ni"
Dalam group ws (Adik Beradik)
[05:38]
Abg Ngah : Salam blako.. Tok Ayoh meninggal doh pukul 4 pagi.. Abg Ngah blk pg ni. Alfatihah
[05:41]
Kak Tie : Allahuakbar... Inna Lillah
[05:42]
Me : إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون
[05:42]
Kak Tie : Jah dey jupo?
[05:42] : Ijah ngan Abg Jie otw balik doh ni. xdea jupo Abah call ijah xd. Abah nangis
[05:43] : Allah sedeyhnya. Kakti sero doh.. abah sedih dari malam tadi lagi
Air mata terus mengalir dalam sepi sepanjang malam.
Lepas stop untuk solat subuh. Kepala terasa berat. Mata terasa letih sebab berjaga sepanjang malam dan menangis. Aku decide untuk melelapkan mata sementara hari sudah cerah.
Group ws Anak-anak Tercinta
[06:20]
Abah : Assalamalaikum semua, Tok Ayah Hj Jusoh bin Mohamad telah kembali ke rahmatullah jam 5.25 pagi ni
[06:20]
Kak Na : Innalillahiwainnailaihirajiun. Semoga tok ayah ditempatkan dalam kalangan orang2 beriman
[06:21]
Kak Tie : Waalaikumsalam Abah. Innalillahiwainailaihirajiun. Semoga tpk ayah ditempatkan dalam kalangan orang2 beriman... semoga udah urusan pengebumian tok ayah
[06:24]
Abah : Baca Fatihah sekali, qulhuwallah sekali dan yasin sekali... Niat sedekah ke tok Ayah..Sebut nama
[06:25]
Abg Jie : Jie duk hentian Benta breti maye subuh. Mungkin sapa pkol 10 pagi
[06:26]
Abah : Baik. Hati2 memandu.. Kebumi jam 11 pagi.
"In shaa Allah dea dengan kita sebelum arwah tok ayah dikebumikan"
Wednesday, 25 July 2018
Hai, hello, Assalamualaikum 👐 Starting from today I will upload my experience as a babysitter in Japan. In shaa Allah I try to istiqamah uploading the story 😅 And sorry for my mix language Malay and English. For this entry, I will talk about my trip to Japan.
Before that, I will story about how do it's begin.
It started out quite innocently on 25/03/2018. I receive whatsapp from kakti.
And here I go. Kakti need to attend a courses at Japan for 9 months and she wants me to babysit her two daughters, Anis Fadhyla (4 y/o) and Auni Farahiyah (2y/o) .
I went to Kakti's house first at Thursday morning by bus from kampung and spending a night there before we flied to Japan.
It's Friday and it's friyayyy. The weather is so nice. We went to the airport at 10 o/clock in the morning after having our breakfast and was sent by Abg Zool's father. It is already lunch time after settling some errands at the airport. We checked in and had our lunch there. I'm so excited. :'). At last, I've got this opportunity to travel oversea after Brunei. Alhamdulillah.
At 2.15 o'clock in the evening, we had boarding. And bismillah, here I come Japan !!
Tuesday, 24 July 2018
The eldest.... The youngest
Siapa sangka saya akan spend dua bulan kat Jepun bersama kakti... Sy sendiri x pernah aspect, perancangan Allah kan. Kakti ank sulung dlm keluarga, sy pulak ank bongsu arwah ma dan abah. Dari kecik, kami x pernah rapat kot, huhu. Sbb masa sy lahir, and then arwah ma meninggal dunia pastu sy duduk ngan tok ayah sejak tu sampai darjah 5. Jadi mmg jaranglah nak spend time sama2 dgn kakti. Ingat masa kecik2, klu time balik rumah abah, sy teringin sgt nk tidur sekatil dgn kakti. Masatu ada dua bilik jee, biasanya, sy ain dan ala akan tidur sama2. Kakti study UK, so mmg jaranglah balik, so bila kakti balik, biasanya akan tidur dgn kak ida or kakna, yg beza 3/4 thn jer dr kakti. And sy rasa jeles. Huhu tidur sekatil jer pon. Tp ada jer waktu2 yg sy sempat tidur sebilik dgn kakti. Xder apa pon padahal.
Bila stay dgn kakti pagi ptg siang malam, sy dpt tgok mcm mana kakti didik anis ngan auni, mcm mana kakti handle, and I do learn something. Tp yg plg terasanya, bila tgok semua tu, I wonder mcm ni ke cara arwah ma didik adik beradik sy dulu. Tegas tapi still lembut and manja. Sy selalu terfikir pasal arwah ma. Yerlah kakti plg lama hidup dgn arwah mama. Sejak lahir sampailah umur 14 thn kot masa arwah ma xde. Mesti kakti adlh acuan arwah ma yg betul2.
Tadi kan, kakti cerita zaman kakti kecik2 dulu, mkn biskut cicah air teh je as dessert. Kadang2 ada jemput, tu pon berebut. Walaupon jemput tu mkn mostly tiap2 minggu. Kakti senyum lebar masa cerita tu, mngenangkan zaman dia kan. Pastu kakti ckp, satu lg ikan celup tepung. And kaktilah yg nk kena prepare tu, siang ikan selar yg kecik2 tu pastu buat pulak colek dia sendiri. Tu pon nk kena kira dulu ada berapa and bagi sama byk tiap2 org sbb xnk bg x cukup. Yerla kami adik beradik ramai kan. Masa tu, dlm hati nk sgt tanya, tu masa arwah ma ke. Tp x terluah. Mmg sy nk sgt tanya kakti mcm mana arwah ma dulu.
All of this thing buat saya rindu dgn arwah ma. Make me wonder how it feels to live with her. 😭 I'm crying here in Fuchu. 😅 you dont know how it feels to miss someone yg dh xde kat dunia ni and she is someone yg kamu x pernah jumpa pon.
Monday, 21 May 2018
ADAKAH INI RAMADHAN YANG TERAKHIR ?
Saturday, 14 April 2018
Bicara Akademik
Assalamualaikum w.b.t , In shaa Allah kali ni sy nak share isi kuliah Bicara Akademik oleh Ustaz Syahmi dari Tadabbur Centre yg sy attend Jumaat malam haritu. Ustaz just sentuh bhgn sikap student terhadap pelajaran rather than cara penyusuna jadual yg dah banyak kali disentuh oleh penceramah-penceramah lain. And untuk tajuk kali ni, ustaz merujuk kpd surah al-Kahfi. Sebagaimana yang kita tahu, surah al-kahfi dibahagikan kpd 4 bahgian. Yang pertama, tentang Ashabul Kahfi, kedua, tentang pemilik 2 kebun, ketiga tentang Nabi Musa dan Nabi Khidir dan yang keempat tentang Zulkarnain.
Firstly, Ustaz bg analogi, bila kita dahaga sangat, kita akan pergi kedai and beli air dan terus minum kan ?? Masatu, adakah kita kira volume of water loss drpd botol tu ? adakah kita take note berapa ml yg kita minum ??
Jawapannya, tak.
Sebab ??
And kita akan jawab, tak penting !
Yupp !! that's the point. Dalam hidup ni, kita kena fokus kat benda yang PENTING sahaja ! So, bila kita dahaga sangat, kita just fokus unt minum air dan hilangkan dahaga tanpa kisah berapa ml air dh habis unt hilangkan dahaga kita.
So, tajuk bicara akademik kalini adalah : Super Fokus
[main rujukan ; surah al-Kahfi - babak 1-]
Dalam surah ni, Allah bantai rapat 2 kelompok :
1) Orang yang beriman kepada Allah S.W.T
2) Orang yang tidak beriman kepada Allah S.W.T
Allah ajar kita FOKUS kepada benda seaptutnya. Saat pemuda al-Kahfi dibangkitkan selepas ditidurkan 309 tahun.
Pemuda alKahfi tak tidur statik. Allah bolak balikkan mereka.
1) Mereka tak sedar dibolak-balikkan
2) Mereka xder kecederaan dan kekal muda
Apa benda first yang mereka bincangkan ?
" yg penting skrg 'kita lapar', stop bincang pasal berapa lama kita tidur."
Antara punca Nabi Musa tak sabar ( sewaktu peristiwa bersama dengan Zulqarnain), sebab lapar (diuji emosi). Kerana bilamana lapar, keputusan dan perbincangan tak sampai noktah.
So, kat sini nk kata yg kita kena fokus kepada realiti, jangan panjangkan isu kepada benda yang tidak pasti. Kadang kita nak perancangan perfect sampai kadang kita lupa tawakal berlaku sebelum dan selepas.
Allah tegur : Katakanlah والله أعلم untuk benda yang tidak pasti tapi fokus kepada benda yang realiti sekarang,
Ayat واليتلطف {dalam keadaan sneaking } ada kaitan dengan لَطَفَ {Allah sangat senyap-senyap dalam merancanakan sesuatu}.
Separuh cerita Nabi Yusuf, Allah gambarkan penderitaan Nabi Yusuf. Part last, Nabi Yusuf kata : "Allah dominate cerita aku everything". Nabi Yusuf pandai berkata-kata.
Dan Allah sedang takdirkan cerita aku sekarang ini : والله غالب على أمري
Kenang balik janji kita dalam doa qunut "فلك الحمد على ما قديت "
Apa yg engkau takdirkan untukku : قضيت → boleh jadi baik atau buruk
Nabi Muhammad diuji dengan kematian orang yang paling dia sayang, Khadijah dan Abu Talib. Allah comfort dengan surah Yusuf ( lagi teruk ujian )
(AlKahfi ; 100) إِنَّ رَبِّي لَطِيفٌ لِّمَا يَشَاء
" Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Senyap-senyap menyelitkan hikmah"
Hikmah bertimpa-timpa selepas ujian bertimpa-timpa.
Punca : Keyakinan. It's all about mindset and believe. Jangan kita racunkan org lain pulak.
Saat anda diuji, kenang peristiwa Nabi Yusuf diuji dengan abang sendiri khianat, ayah ingat dia dah mati dll.
Teguran, Allah sinis Ashabul Kahfi sebab bangun dan membincangkan pasal berapa bilangan hari diorang tidur.
Bilamana Allah mendiamkan sesuatu didalam Al-Quran, itu tandanya kita tak perlu fokus pasal cerita itu.
Kenapa Allah tak mention berapa orang Ashabul Kahfi ? Sebab tak penting. Tapi yang penting, orang yang beriman akhir zaman memang sikit.
Wednesday, 15 November 2017
Friends 🌹
Back then, when we laughed together about how alike we are
You gently overlooked my little white lies
It won't matter to me if we dont have a place to return to because i'll protect that smile of yours
There are countless encounters and farewells waiting
Not to mention many things I don't want to lose
But I don't feel any need for them anymore
All I want is to be by your side and gaze at you through happiness, sadness, and everything else
Let's start right here and now
Let's start our future
Let's be true to our feelings
Like flowers swaying in the summer breeze, let's use this moment to bloom in our full glory.
A short visit to DIY
Wednesday, 15 November 2017
باسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته 🎀
A short visit to DIY 😇 I was watching anime when ma balik sekolah n looking for alya in my room. Her first impression is like "😑" "what are u doing in the dark?" . And I'll be like "😬". Yeah my room is quite dark even in daylight 😅But then ma ask me if I want to go to Jerteh ( it is 'bandar' to us) and I was like "😍" aka 'org mengantuk disorongkan bantal' . Sy dh lama nk g jerteh kot sbb nk beli barang unt puding jagung 😋🌽 And Alya would like to buy a present as she have pertukaran hadiah for her class's upcoming farewell party. And so we went to DIY then 💃 Hehe, this is just introduction ✌
The story today is, going to DIY surely bring back the memories 🍃 at the CFS of course 🏫 there was a mall just a stone throw away from the CFS called JAYAONE become the most popular mall among CFS students 😇 yerlah, perlu jalan kaki jee.. And kat situlah adanya DIY 🎪 As we know brg2 kat DIY is so eyecatching and usable especially for us, student 💁 for any ocassion, cenderahati unt speaker or gifts for mdm or friends, the easiest way to get them is at the DIY . So today, when i went there and looking at the goods displayed, all those memories back then replay in my mind 👯 it's like DIY is the-must-visit place when u go to JAYAONE. Eventhough, u will only come to see the same things over and over but it will never can stop u from going there 😌 'beli brg unt pertukaran hadiah', 'beli hadiah unt penceramah', 'beli hadiah birthday kawan', 'hadiah farewell' and a lots more 😚 and I will take the longest time to make a choice 😁 its my weakness 😪 and my companion will be so annoyed with me As we take a lot of time at DIY because of 'me'and end up went back to CFS soo late like it's Maghrib already. 😶 ops 🙊 that's Izyuna for you. ✌🙆 As it was the most popular shopping port for CFS students, sampai kita dh boleh recognize dh brg tu from DIY. 😵 therefore u can go and check the price of the present that u got 🙊 it's cheating 🙅 u should just accept it seadanya. 😉 . That's all for today 😆
A quote of the day. 🌸
" Zindagi ek safar hai suhana "
Hidup itu mmg satu perjalanan yg Best 🌹
Saturday, 13 May 2017
DOA
Thursday, 5 January 2017
Menjawab persoalan aqidah
Petikan ini diambil dari perbualan antara Badiuzzaman Said Nursi bersama seorang ahli fizik;
"Benarkah Tuhan itu wujud? Sekiranya dia wujud, di mana tempatnya. Kerana setiap yang wujud pasti bertempat. Contohnya kita manusia, tempatnya di bumi. Ikan tempatnya di laut. Burung tempatnya di pokok dan udara. Begitu seterusnya di mana semua yang wujud pasti ada tempatnya, " kata ahli fizik itu menyoal berkaitan ketuhanan.
Mendengar solan ahli fizik itu, Badiuzzaman Said Nursi terus bertanya, "Adakah awak percaya setiap yang hidup pasti ada nyawa? "
Tanpa sebarang syak, ahli fizik itu lantas menjawab "Setiap manusia dan haiwan yang hidup pasti ada nyawa. Itu sudah tentu saya percaya. "
"Di manakah letaknya nyawa itu? Di kepala, di perut, ataupun di dada? " tanya Badiuzzaman Said Nursi pula.
Apabila melihat lawannya terdiam tidak dapat menjawab maka Badiuzzaman Said Nursi pun berkata, "Sekiranya nyawa yang ada pada diri kita sendiri pun tidak tahu di mana letaknya, apatah lagi Allah yang menjadikan kita. "
Akhirnya ahli fizik itu mengaku kalah lalu menjadi anak murid Badiuzzaman Said Nursi.
Rujukan : buku Badiuzzaman Said Nursi karya Abdul Latip Talib
Saturday, 31 December 2016
Story of the day
Hello Assalamualaikum. 😊
Huhu after a few moments or i should say a few month. 😅 i write again... Then this is me.. Very hard to stay istiqamah like to do the same thing at the same time every day.. Just like writing this blog that i need to sot still, think n write. 😪😪 bit still the feeling and the urgeness to write n share sth is always there inside myself.. It just. 😒 hahaa. ... Dont know what the suitable word...
Yesterday, i went to UIA to attend a meeting of an organisation... And im like very nervous from the start, at the first step in UIA. 😥😥 .. Cause i know there will be a change for post n position from 2016 to 2017 .. And i'll be one of person that were selected to hold a post.. Wether it is mainboard or not... That when the session or the program start, i keep holding my hidayah's hand like to take some strengt from her... At the same time, i try to soothe myself by thinking that, kq amni would not choose me. 😌😌 ... Eventhough the nervousnesa still here. ... And when the announcement made... *they show the name on the slide.. And i saw my name.. And i'll be like 😐 that made me speechless.. And i look at ayong at the front, when she nodded at me signing that it is me.. Then i knew that i had accepted one more responsible next sem.. One more post that the importantness is cant be denied ... I stand up hopelessly and went to in front to see kq amni waiting for me. I shake hand with her n hug her.. At that time, i try hardly to prevent from crying... As that time, i felt so hard, like something so hard fell on ur head... And i started feeling to have fever like the headache can make me go faint 😲 ... When the session ended for a while to pray zohor... I went to ayong n hug her , and ayong said sth that really soothing myself n i'll bear in mind always. Ayong said, that i am the strongest person she've ever meet because even i lost my biological mom but still i can get that value for GPA in the first sem while busying with mrc , usrah , programs .. And i'll be like clueless bcoz i'm never think that losing my mom since baby is a barrier for me to do sth as i know Allah is the best planner. ... That we must always grateful to Allah by looking what we have not what we dont.. Yes i sad, i miss her, but i know by doing best in deen wa dunya is what she seek from me... And something that i hold, that always in my mind and heart, when i achieve sth, that is the pay from Allah bcoz He took my mom.. Then i'll be very grateful to Him... Ayong said a lot but that is the highlight of that... And in the last sujood to Allah in zuhur prayer, i cried, sy mengadu kat Allah.. Its like Allah satusatunya tmpt bergantung dr dulu sampai skrg.. And i seek calmness from Allah and Allah is the most loving God to his hamba.. That i really reach calmness that i can smile again n bersemangat balik. ... .. Tu jer kot stakat ni. 😉😉
Hope that whoever read this, can take as much lesson from my storyb, its not for riyak, takabbur or ujub. I just want to share and everyone is permitted to share sth... And that remember to always seek forgiveness with Allah by istighfar especially forgiveness if there is a dot of riyak. Ujub n takabbur in our heart... Bcoz we humans that so fragile cant run from that negative n killing feeling..
Sunday, 5 June 2016
MAMA
Mama ... The most important person in our live 💟 We can say she is VVIP then 😏 She gave birth to us with freaking pain 😣 and yet she love us more than herself 😌 She try to serve us like a king 👸 meanwhile she only a servant 💂.. And for what she had done for us , she never asked us to repay her and yet her sacrifices are priceless can't be paid with money 🏧 and yet we aren't able 🙅 to serve her the same .. Ohh we 're so ignorant 🙍 didn't we ? I lost my mom when I was 4 month year-old 😞 it was the most heart breaking thing 😣 in my life .. I didn't able to even see her in person 😔 whatsoever to embrace her .. I can't tell her if I am sad .. I can't tell her if someone mad at me .. I cant share with her if I am on cloud nine ... I cant do something that other kids do with their mother ... And yet I am soo sad 😭 I miss her in every second 😔 yet I always ask to Allah in my prayer that I can meet my mother in Jannah 🙍 and I hope whoever read this can amin my du'a ... I never asked to Allah so that I can see her in my dream as yerlah ... Something like that it's like syaitonn 👿 ... Hehe and so I never see her .. But still I have my mother's picture with me which is I stole it from my late mother handbag that has been kept by my father a couple of years ago ... But now , as it's a long ago picture , so the quality is poor already .. It is also because I cried on the picture 😭 . Okey sampai sini dulu ... 😉
Wednesday, 18 May 2016
INTRODUCTION 👗👗
It's been two years already since my last time wrote at this blog 😌 and for the time being , im always looking for this as there's always time that i want to express my feeling , to share my problem .. Just something to soothe myself 😋 but the situation always not suitable .. Its like low connection .. But now , there's no more problem as I've got my new phone and I have this blogger app in my phone .. Wow it's like so exciting 💐💐.
Thursday, 8 January 2015
I LOVE U
Thats the last word i would like to wish for u ..
5 tahun kita bersama , menyimpul ikatan ukhuwah ...


